In December 2019, I was sharing a cab with a fellow traveler I had just met at a local airport and who, like me, was headed to the small beach towns on the Oaxacan coastline of Mexico.
Your paradigm of the two lives and the space in between them interests me a lot, that there is something outside the scripted life that is “living.” It’s living because it give us energy, and, of course, the life force is energy.
The scripted life that drains us daily and sometimes minute-to-minute is a form of dying, an incrementally slow death acted out over days, weeks, months, and years. And when people live such scripted lives, they are much more subject to debilitating diseases and conditions than when truly “living.”
Your article immediately brought to mind a day when I was doing some tedious work outside my house in the Oakland Hills of Northern California. The front facade of the house had wooden shingles, and they needed to be varnished. I didn’t have a paint sprayer; I only had a brush, one with a smaller brush head to get into the crevices of the overlapping shingles.
After about forty-five minutes of slow but steady varnishing, something happened. I no longer felt like I was engaged in a tedious task. Instead, I was a part of the morning scene of Nature that was all around me. I would look up and see the red-tailed hawks flying by. Or when I went to my front door, I would watch one of the tiny lizards that lived under the driveway scurry. When I quit for lunch around noon, I couldn’t wait to get back outside. And when I had finished varnishing all the shingles in the late afternoon, as the sun was fading over the hill directly to the west I had this incredible feeling of being part of Nature for a full day, as I followed the sun from one side of the house to the other.
Yes, just engaging brings so much that we cannot plan out. I call God plan C. I am a scared human strategizer, trying to decide between my binary choices, A or B. When I step out and just begin, option C kicks in. It's always a surprise.
Thank you for this powerful post. Appropriate at all times but hitting hard for me right now as I, uncharacteristically, was eagerly awaiting the new year and a fresh start. A new year is simply a different day, however this time I ached for a break from the challenges humanity is facing on all levels. I figured the new year was it, haha!
Your words are the simple reminder that we are culturally conditioned, living in a fear based society. The work we are called to do to live our one true life is to release those beliefs and deeply know ourselves. This is a lovely tribute to your friend, George, because now he can live in the hearts of strangers around the world as a reminder to seek the answer inside.
Thank you for this post and the way you have articulated these two (but really one) lives. I feel like I am picking out my soundtrack and learning the moves. Still awkward but I’ve left the not “real life” behind.
It really is! And even though it’s awkward, it’s familiar at the same time, like you are discovering something you know, or will know, but still have to figure it out.
I loved this. My little family is currently just beginning to dance in the in-between and it’s both beautiful and challenging. Such a timely read — thank you. 🙏🏻
You’re not kidding about timing… just read your first two posts, and with joy. Your journey resonates deeply with me, really looking forward to our circles joining. ✨🧡
We often get so caught up in our daily grind that we lose sight of the dreams we once had. Realizing that there's a vibrant, untouched version of life still out there for us is both freeing and inspiring. It's never too late to go after what truly makes us happy.
You've written this in such a beautiful way. I believe that we do have two lives, and we need to choose the one that will truly make us happy. It really puts things into perspective. ♥️
This is so beautifully written and such an important message. I absolutely love what you wrote about flirting with this unlived life, and noticing the serendipitous moments where it emerges. That is the key to me, when for so much of my life I felt I didn't know "what" that dream life would be. It's about getting curious about the things that light you up, however fleeting.
The awareness of what makes you feel alive continues to evolve little by little, or even in one giant step. If you mix that awareness with the courage to change, you suddenly realize you've built that life!
Mexico City inspires so much, doesn't it? We recently got back from a month there (we live in the UK usually). It was our first trip to CDMX and, within a few hours of stepping off the plane, we asked each other, "How can we live here? Can we split our time between here and Manchester?" In the end, we realised it's a dream that is a little out of reach right now: We both have elderly parents and I have my first nephew on the way in July. We need to be around. In the end, we settled for the idea of returning to CDMX for a month in November and then began asking a different question: "How can we bring as much of our life in Mexico City as possible into our life in the UK?" It's brought a beautiful shape to so many things already. xx
Hi Karla, thank you for your share. Yes it was also, my first time in Mexico and I asked myself exactly that same question! And for the same reasons, you mentioned (elderly parents) I decided to move to Portugal from the US to be closer to them(my parents live in the UK). But your inquiry is a beautiful one and reminds us that the frame what perspective we open up new possibilities.
I spent 3 months in south Sicily this winter and am looking to live there every winter, perhaps by starting a writers retreat. It's just a sparkle in my eye, but it may tune into something real!
Thank you for this lovely tribute to your friend. I recently lost a dear friend who had also somehow figured this "real life" thing out and she left this world too soon for the rest of us - but with no regrets of her own. She lived exactly as she wanted to. You could always feel it when you were with her. I think perhaps your friend was this way. I strive to learn from these people as I am a bit of a slower learner - but definitely the signs of the real life are presenting themselves to me. What a journey!
Yes, it’s exactly that… My friend was far from perfect but fully human and living his life fully! It would have been his birthday about a week back and I miss him but he remains an inspiration.
This is the best thing I've read in some time... an inspired reminder that the antidote to time passing is to be present in the current moment, and to bring the imagined life to bear in it with enough consistency and a deliberate turn of mind, the imagined life becomes fulfilled.
Anne, I am so happy to hear that! You words brim with agency..." to *bring* the imagined life to *bear in it* with enough *consistency* and a *deliberate turn of mind*, the imagined life becomes fulfilled." Thank you.
Yassir, this is a wonderful meditation! I'm reminded of poet/philosopher David Whyte's concept of life being a "conversation" between poles, but your juxtaposition of the scripted life and our creative lives is a fresh window to look through. Thank you!
Your paradigm of the two lives and the space in between them interests me a lot, that there is something outside the scripted life that is “living.” It’s living because it give us energy, and, of course, the life force is energy.
The scripted life that drains us daily and sometimes minute-to-minute is a form of dying, an incrementally slow death acted out over days, weeks, months, and years. And when people live such scripted lives, they are much more subject to debilitating diseases and conditions than when truly “living.”
Your article immediately brought to mind a day when I was doing some tedious work outside my house in the Oakland Hills of Northern California. The front facade of the house had wooden shingles, and they needed to be varnished. I didn’t have a paint sprayer; I only had a brush, one with a smaller brush head to get into the crevices of the overlapping shingles.
After about forty-five minutes of slow but steady varnishing, something happened. I no longer felt like I was engaged in a tedious task. Instead, I was a part of the morning scene of Nature that was all around me. I would look up and see the red-tailed hawks flying by. Or when I went to my front door, I would watch one of the tiny lizards that lived under the driveway scurry. When I quit for lunch around noon, I couldn’t wait to get back outside. And when I had finished varnishing all the shingles in the late afternoon, as the sun was fading over the hill directly to the west I had this incredible feeling of being part of Nature for a full day, as I followed the sun from one side of the house to the other.
I never felt more alive.
Beautiful Fred, what a lovely expression of being in the flow of life..
And this! “The scripted life that drains us daily and sometimes minute-to-minute is a form of dying...”
Yes, just engaging brings so much that we cannot plan out. I call God plan C. I am a scared human strategizer, trying to decide between my binary choices, A or B. When I step out and just begin, option C kicks in. It's always a surprise.
Thank you for this powerful post. Appropriate at all times but hitting hard for me right now as I, uncharacteristically, was eagerly awaiting the new year and a fresh start. A new year is simply a different day, however this time I ached for a break from the challenges humanity is facing on all levels. I figured the new year was it, haha!
Your words are the simple reminder that we are culturally conditioned, living in a fear based society. The work we are called to do to live our one true life is to release those beliefs and deeply know ourselves. This is a lovely tribute to your friend, George, because now he can live in the hearts of strangers around the world as a reminder to seek the answer inside.
Thank you, Donna, and appreciate you being here!
Thank you for this post and the way you have articulated these two (but really one) lives. I feel like I am picking out my soundtrack and learning the moves. Still awkward but I’ve left the not “real life” behind.
That’s wonderful Kristi, yes, it’s always awkward at the beginning, isn’t it?
It really is! And even though it’s awkward, it’s familiar at the same time, like you are discovering something you know, or will know, but still have to figure it out.
This is so fantastic and found me at exactly the right time. I am finally beginning to listen to the calls of my “real life”. Thank you
Oh Meredith, thank you, I am so thrilled that you are following the call!
I loved this. My little family is currently just beginning to dance in the in-between and it’s both beautiful and challenging. Such a timely read — thank you. 🙏🏻
Breanna, thought of your little family dancing in the in -between brought a smile to my face ;)
Bre! Bree here!! 🥰
You’re not kidding about timing… just read your first two posts, and with joy. Your journey resonates deeply with me, really looking forward to our circles joining. ✨🧡
Thanks Breana, and Bree!
I love a good synchronistic moment. Hi Bree!!
🙌🏻✨🌕♊️
We often get so caught up in our daily grind that we lose sight of the dreams we once had. Realizing that there's a vibrant, untouched version of life still out there for us is both freeing and inspiring. It's never too late to go after what truly makes us happy.
I love the fact that babies learn to walk and fall over and just keep going - such a powerful analogy
This: "There is a natural rhythm that surfaces when you assert your birthright of belonging to this world"
You've written this in such a beautiful way. I believe that we do have two lives, and we need to choose the one that will truly make us happy. It really puts things into perspective. ♥️
thanks Jesisica!
Omg thank you thank thank you, I felt this in my bones and I am dancing 💃✨🙏
Thank you, feeling something in our bones is always a good sign :)
This is so beautifully written and such an important message. I absolutely love what you wrote about flirting with this unlived life, and noticing the serendipitous moments where it emerges. That is the key to me, when for so much of my life I felt I didn't know "what" that dream life would be. It's about getting curious about the things that light you up, however fleeting.
The awareness of what makes you feel alive continues to evolve little by little, or even in one giant step. If you mix that awareness with the courage to change, you suddenly realize you've built that life!
Beautifully expressed, one dance step at a time!
I lived in Sicily for three months this past winter because - why the fuck not!? It was splendid to live and write there.
Mexico City inspires so much, doesn't it? We recently got back from a month there (we live in the UK usually). It was our first trip to CDMX and, within a few hours of stepping off the plane, we asked each other, "How can we live here? Can we split our time between here and Manchester?" In the end, we realised it's a dream that is a little out of reach right now: We both have elderly parents and I have my first nephew on the way in July. We need to be around. In the end, we settled for the idea of returning to CDMX for a month in November and then began asking a different question: "How can we bring as much of our life in Mexico City as possible into our life in the UK?" It's brought a beautiful shape to so many things already. xx
Hi Karla, thank you for your share. Yes it was also, my first time in Mexico and I asked myself exactly that same question! And for the same reasons, you mentioned (elderly parents) I decided to move to Portugal from the US to be closer to them(my parents live in the UK). But your inquiry is a beautiful one and reminds us that the frame what perspective we open up new possibilities.
I spent 3 months in south Sicily this winter and am looking to live there every winter, perhaps by starting a writers retreat. It's just a sparkle in my eye, but it may tune into something real!
Thank you for this lovely tribute to your friend. I recently lost a dear friend who had also somehow figured this "real life" thing out and she left this world too soon for the rest of us - but with no regrets of her own. She lived exactly as she wanted to. You could always feel it when you were with her. I think perhaps your friend was this way. I strive to learn from these people as I am a bit of a slower learner - but definitely the signs of the real life are presenting themselves to me. What a journey!
Yes, it’s exactly that… My friend was far from perfect but fully human and living his life fully! It would have been his birthday about a week back and I miss him but he remains an inspiration.
This is the best thing I've read in some time... an inspired reminder that the antidote to time passing is to be present in the current moment, and to bring the imagined life to bear in it with enough consistency and a deliberate turn of mind, the imagined life becomes fulfilled.
Anne, I am so happy to hear that! You words brim with agency..." to *bring* the imagined life to *bear in it* with enough *consistency* and a *deliberate turn of mind*, the imagined life becomes fulfilled." Thank you.
Yassir, this is a wonderful meditation! I'm reminded of poet/philosopher David Whyte's concept of life being a "conversation" between poles, but your juxtaposition of the scripted life and our creative lives is a fresh window to look through. Thank you!
Gosh, thank you Mark and to be mentioned in the same paragraph as David White is most humbling.. :)
Your playing my tune! Cheers from Wildlands! Thanks for a really important reminder, Yassir!
glad to find a kindred spirit Robin!
Indeed, it is lovely to be acquainted!